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How are you perceived?
By Felix | July 31, 2008
For the past two days I have been away from work and on resuming today it looks like I have lost 2weeks, that’s how fast things move in my place of work. I have no idea what to write about today, but I guess keeping you guys glued to old post does not help neither you nor me, so I guess I’ll just flow and hope it comes.
Today I’ll just try and paint a little picture of what my work environment looks like, for those who do not know, I work for a leading consulting firm Generis Solutions, and like the name applies, we are “sui generis” in a class of our own, I hope I can explain how this works, but right now as I write this there is an unusual meeting going on in my boss’s office, where the topic is on “If he is feared or respected”.
How did it all start, I received a call 2 days ago, that I had a query to answer, and this was based on the perception from my boss that a few colleagues fear me in the office, now this was bit shocking and at the same time revealing to me and my boss too, I believed he was the feared one and he in turn thinks I am the feared one, but in other not to bore you with the lengthy discussion that led to this, I’ll go straight to what I intend to achieve with this post.
We all live our lives without necessarily taking time to look at ourselves from other people’s eyes, we go on our day to day activities believing people see us as we see ourselves, but the shocking truth is if you take out time to talk one on one with the people around you, at least those who come in contact with you on a day to day basis, you’ll get to find a whole new dimension to how people perceive you. Now before the chat with my boss, I was a bit surprised when a few of my colleagues took out time to come and tell me they missed my absence, now don’t get me wrong, they’ll definitely miss my absence, at least because I believe I am an integral part of the day to day work around the office, but when they said they missed me, it wasn’t about work, it had more to do with my not being around, I hope I am making sense here, because I really don’t know how to explain it in details. But bottom line is I felt needed around here and that gives anyone a satisfying feeling.
But the event of the day turned around when I went ahead, after the chatting with my boss, to sample a few candid opinions on what they feel about me and yours truly, what my boss said was confirmed by a few, who actually said they fear me, I have always taken it to be respect instead of fear, but they actually told me it was fear. This didn’t augur well with me, as I’d rather be respected than feared, although when I probed deep, I got to find out, that some of it had to do with my past and others was just merely how I carried myself.
I am writing about this today so incase some other people happen to see me in that light and its not possible for me to address it or trash it out with everybody one on one, I’ll use this medium to say, I’d rather be respected than feared and if for any reason I am sending out the wrong vibes of being or trying to be the one to be feared, feel free to address me with it at anytime, and when I say respected, I want to earn it.
Second reason why I am writing this is so You! also take out time to check how you are perceived and not merely live under an assumption that you are ok with everyone or everyone is ok with you. This is not an attempt to get everyone to like you, because really we can’t please the world and even if you try to please the world you will not only end up displeasing yourself, but you’ll also end up being a Big fool. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care at all about how people see us, it just means we should know how to balance it out.
I used to come from the school of thought that cared less of how people feels about me or how I do my things, but as maturity sets in or as the Holy Spirit comes into play and opens our eyes, we should learn to be able to take out time from our busy schedule to check, not because we are afraid of what they say about us but because we might be sending out the wrong vibes like I have been doing, and this should not be narrowed down to only fear that I mentioned, it could be any other area of your personality, so people can see your confidence as pride, some can see your keeping to yourself as being snobbish, it can be a number of things and yes you don’t have to explain to everyone, but the ones that you deal with day in day out, should sometimes be told who you really are or the real message you are sending across, and yes I have been thought in the past and even in present times to be the snobbish and proud.. lol
I am asking we try out this exercise, because we can grow as much as we desire, but using fear as a tool for this, will not serve the ultimate purpose. Feel free to share your experience here before and/or after sampling opinions.
I ended up not painting the picture I promised above, I guess that will be a gist for another day, as you know when I started I didn’t know what I was going to write about.
Peace n a fist!
Topics: change, choice, life lessons |
July 31st, 2008 at 8:29 pm
nature n nurture makes us who we are how we handle things the shyness or boldness of our personalities… it is 50/50 u cant have one wihtout the other. I am a very bold say it as i see it type of woman, i wear my heart on my sleve that has been taken advantage of several times over in my life .. which in turn has made me more of a defensive type personality..I speak my mind and at times come across very strong only due to trying to get others to understand the way i think or how i feel about situations.. Fear, ya i know that so many are with me due to my firmness, but what they arent seeing is the cause behind the action they just see the action.. im a very deep thinker and there is always madness behind what i say or do and those that know me know when i act or speak although they may not understand at that time the reason,they know i do things for reasons .. those that dont know me,those that fear me, those that loath me …. dont understand me, and so be it.. 50 percent of those love me n 50 percent dont.. i wont sweat those that dont cuz they dont get it… Im a truthful woman and forever will live in it, if i feel someone is ofending me oh u can bet your sweet butt they will know it right then n there.. so they can see how their actions are affecting another.. best to confront on the spot then to let it ride for another day only for the offender to deny their actions.. which soooo many do.. confront asap on someones behavior if it ofends u dont let it ride only for denials.. I look at the daughter i have raised and know who i am what im about, ive heard over the yrs .. Taylor “my daught” is such a good girl and Deb is such a bitch.. lol i say how do u think she became that way.. I AM HER MOM.. look beyond the action and know that i am deeper then what u see.. wink good post love have a great weekend.. xx
August 4th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
God bless you real good for this post. I’m inspired…”How we are received is a combination of 30% of how people perceive us plus 30% of how we see ourselves plus 40% of how God sees us”…Adegbulu Adesoji James
Thanks
August 4th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Hey, I never knew you work with Generis, anyway, Deolu Akinyemi is my favorite person though he doesn’t really know me. I also work with Bigplus Int’l Concept, a leading Consulting Firm and Hedge funds investor. Keep it up. It counts a lot
August 5th, 2008 at 10:22 am
@debra … too true
@jesusfreak … God bless you too and yes, how God sees us is more important than how the world see us.
@damola… yeah i work with deolu, will let him know, and stay inspired too.
August 26th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
The first impression is probably the most important thing,” it lives a long time impression about you in pples mind, there is never a second chance to make a first impression”. Let your conscience and God guide other people’s impression about you.
ALLways remember that the most important, is how God perceive u.